Happy Birthday, Sandra.
We are long overdue for a chat. Life has a way of taking you by the horns, as they say. Thought this would be a good time to check in.
Feeling a bit more reflective these days. Some things I want you to know and not get lost in between my breathes of one after the other or my steps of one foot in front of the other.
So much to say … and my tendency would be to say, “I’m sorry.” I’m sorry I didn’t manage the stress better when then pandemic hit and you quietly went into panic mode about how you were going to adapt to the changing environment. You knew what to do, but succumbed to the panic on the TV, radio, internet and chatter. I’m sorry I put you through that. And, of course, I could apologize for the 20+ pounds you loaded onto your small, petite frame. I won’t make excuses; it wasn’t about being more sedentary or the gym being closed. You were “comfort” eating. I’m not sorry that you enjoyed every bit of it. It soothed you. And, yes, enough is enough.
And the “I’m sorry” list could go on. So, again, enough is enough.
Time to flip the switch. And in the spirit of that, let me congratulate you.
I’m proud of you.
I’m proud of the challenges you faced and the verve in which you faced them. It wasn’t easy, and with knees knocking and teeth chattering, you proved that you could take big risks without the backup of testing and validation you normally seek. You stretched your “this time is not only right, it is ‘Now’” muscle and went for it. You forgave yourself for less than perfect execution. You owned up to mistakes, leaned into the discomfort of correcting them, handled the disappointment of the few, and looked within for confirmation that you did what you had to do. Good girl!
I’m proud of you.
I’m proud that you didn’t lose your sense of belief that achievement and success can be less about becoming as it is about unbecoming. You know you needed this stretch to nudge you to release and let go of what was no longer serving you, so that you could give way to grower to the next higher version of yourself.
I’m proud that you allowed yourself to be vulnerable and share that you didn’t know how to navigate these unchartered waters and you needed help and understanding that your silence was not about avoiding what was happening and more about getting quiet to tap into your inner knowing. Your quietness has been a key source of your strength. I’m proud that you remember to honor that part of you.
I’m proud that you were able to maintain the difference between being alone with being lonely. There can be a fine line for you. Retreating too deep for too long can create destructive results, like depression. I’m proud that you have learned how to open up before the darkness sets in and bring your family together to remind you of your true blessings and what brings you so much joy.
Happy Birthday, girl. I’m proud of all that you have been, all that you have become. And I’m quite curious and excited about all that you are yet to be.
Hugs ~ Sandra