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Author Articles Life Balance vs. Life Burnout –
Deb is the author of, a practical step-by-step guide for helping women successfully manage careers, family, and chronic illness and stress. An experienced motivational speaker and stress management facilitator, Deb’s programs and workshops give women essential skills to recognize and manage stress for the rest of their lives. See her website at www.changeassociatescoaching.com. We are all born with a tremendous capacity for hope. As we grow, it is not the major catastrophes in our life that shake that hope, test our ability to manage stress, and create burnout; it is the everyday hassles. At some point in your career you will probably experience burnout. No matter how much you enjoy your job there will come a time when you just do not feel like doing it anymore. Burnout does not happen only to those who are stressed or frustrated. Maybe there are no apparent problems or issues that need to be resolved. Work may seem to be going along smoothly. You get along with your boss, co-workers, and clients. Then suddenly one day you feel a tight knot in your stomach when you think about work. You can’t seem to come up with new creative ideas. You let your email pile up. You cringe when the phone rings. Yesterday you loved your job and today you hate it. You realize that many months have passed since you had a vacation, a full weekend off, or even a relaxing evening at home. The scale has tipped and you just mechanically move through your day. Burnout out is caused by imbalance – an imbalance not caused by overwork, but by neglecting personal values. Not balancing the body, head, and heart leads to a misaligned life in which values of work, home, community, personal and spiritual lives collide. There is hope! There are techniques and tools available to help you move beyond burnout to deliberately living a life on purpose that is balanced, fun, creative, and valued. The Seven Steps To Reduce Stress 1. Pursue the Joy of the Unpredictable We derive joy from pursuing interests and passions that do not produce any obvious benefits. Unfortunately many people believe that joy should reside in our hobbies or only once we retire. Not so! Do something that gives you energy that resonates with you and motivates you to jump; no, fly, out of bed in the morning. Joy is about surprises and the unexpected. It’s not tranquil and it’s not spurred by attaining material possessions. It’s about feeling the thrill of life. It’s about experiencing moments that you’ll never forget. 2. Start Liking Yourself You will find on the outside only what you possess on the inside. Deep down most of us do not have a lot of self-respect. Use your downtime to fix whatever problems keep you from following the best track. Self-discovery and self-improvement are a good start. As a result, improved self-respect produces better jobs, better outlooks, and better lives. 3. Spend Time with Family and Friends We tend to hide both physically and emotionally from loved ones and colleagues when we are burned out. We feel embarrassed because we are always canceling commitments or making excuses why we cannot commit. Instead of using downtime to reconnect with loved ones, we wallow in guilt. It is too easy to get caught up in our work. It is too easy to treasure our trash and trash ourselves. We may feel important at work but we are only truly valued when we are with family and friends. We can be replaced at work. Our friends and family stick with us. Burnout may be reserved for people who have more choices than they appreciate. It is an early warning system that can help us get back on track. Burnout may just bring with it a more satisfying life for you, your family, and your future employer. Listen to the disappointments, the sadness, and the regrets from your family and friends. There is truth behind the emotion that is calling to you. 4. Change the Way You Look at Stress One way to change stress is to change the way in which we interpret any stressful event. We change how we interpret an event by changing how we think about the event. Instead of saying, “I can’t do this, it won’t work out”, try saying “I will break this project down into small steps and talk with my manager later to negotiate more time.” Even slightly changing how we choose to evaluate an event will greatly decrease the amount of burnout we feel. Try to eliminate words and phrases such as ‘Hate”, “can’t stand it”, “no way”, etc. Make a list of those negative words or phrases that you most often use, and then flag them each time they are said and replace them with a more neutral word or phrase. 5. Build Your Personal Foundation The personal foundation process involves deliberately investing in one’s self. A strong personal foundation includes 10 distinct stepping stones which, when linked together, provide a solid yet personalized base on which to build one’s life. In a world that sometimes appears to be built on quicksand, we all need a personal foundation base. This includes some foundational components such as reduce and eliminate tolerations in your life, simplify, create and use daily habits, creating reserves, and reorient around your values. If you cannot manage this on your own, I recommend finding a personal or life coach to help you in the process. 6. Work to Have Fun at Work and Build Creativity into Your Day You do not need to throw a party to have fun at work. You can have fun by talking to a co-worker, listening to music, or by just increasing those tasks that you enjoy at work. Attempt to complete tasks that you do not enjoy right away so you do not think about them all day long or check with your manager to see if you can eliminate or delegate these tasks to someone else. If you honestly cannot find anything you enjoy about your work, you might not be experiencing burnout at all, but a true feeling of needing a new job. This might be a good time to do some self-discovery work, take a career assessment, or hire a career coach. If you go in the same door every day, sit at the same desk, and start the day off with the same phone calls, a routine can easily lead to boredom. Add some job creativity to your day. For example ask to change your start time, redecorate your office or cubicle, or ask to take on some new tasks that you enjoy. Do not ask to take on additional busy work. It is far more important to ask to take on a new assignment that will fuel your creativity, add interest to your day, and give you positive feelings. 7. Ask for Some Control in Your Job If you need permission to take control, ask your employer to take a risk by allowing you to take control over your job for one week to see if production increases. If they do not allow you to take full control, ask for control over one small aspect of your job. They slowly ask for more and more until you have as much as you want. Some final strategies to stay motivated and live in balance:
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By Deborah DePorter